Bush: The farting Voltaire?
First, we find out from US News & World Report that our lovable scamp, George W. Bush, is actually a man of letters:
Maybe it was the influence of his wife, Laura, a former librarian, or his mother, Barbara, a longtime promoter of literacy. Or perhaps he was just eager to dispel his image as an intellectual lightweight. But President Bush now wants it known that he is a man of letters. In fact, Bush has entered a book-reading competition with Karl Rove, his political adviser. White House aides say the president has read 60 books so far this year (while the brainy Rove, to Bush's competitive delight, has racked up only 50). The commander in chief delved into three volumes in August alone-two on Abraham Lincoln and, more surprising for a man of unambiguous convictions, The Stranger, Albert Camus's existential tale of murder and alienation (story, Page 38).(My emphasis) (Those of you who, for some totally inexplicable -- and no doubt highly un-American -- reason doubt the authenticity of this report will find companionship here, among other places.) Yet, at almost the exact same moment we receive this report, also from US News & World Report, purporting to document what can only be described as a presidential obsession with flatulence:
He loves to cuss, gets a jolly when a mountain biker wipes out trying to keep up with him, and now we're learning that the first frat boy loves flatulence jokes. A top insider let that slip when explaining why President Bush is paranoid around women, always worried about his behavior. But he's still a funny, earthy guy who, for example, can't get enough of fart jokes. He's also known to cut a few for laughs, especially when greeting new young aides, but forget about getting people to gas about that.(My emphasis) So there you have it, our own modern day Renaissance man -- The Farting Voltaire!
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:17 am
Does it still count if Laura is reading the books to him before bedtime? What about pop-up books?
August 23rd, 2006 at 3:40 pm
Fart jokes, huh? Fits right in with the rest of his “personality”. He has all the charm, elegance, and savois-faire of a medieval swineherd.
August 23rd, 2006 at 8:19 pm
For $19.95, you can order a “Pull My Finger” Farting Bush Doll.
Comes with sound effects!
August 23rd, 2006 at 8:47 pm
He is such an embarrassment. He can’t even be a vicious murderer with class. He is like the backwoods characters in “Deliverance” stupid, slovenly and evil.
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:16 pm
What I find truly puzzling about his “reading list”, especially if we include Camus along with Voltaire, is how absurd it really is. He is against stem cell research because it takes a “life”, yet he has no qualms about wars. I don’t know how he feels about Voltaire, but Voltaire himself hated judicial arbitrariness; Bush seems to hold it as a good thing, (as long as he’s the judge,); Voltaire loved science, Bush seems to hate it, (unless it suits his purpose at the moment,); Voltair was one of the leaders of the Enlightenment, Bush seems to want to back to midievalism. Did I mention Camus was an absurdis and Bush doesn”t seem to understan the word?
How absurd the whole phoney story. For crying out loud the guy can’t read a teleprompter or recite the lines fed him through his ear-piece.
Thanks! I feel better now.
August 23rd, 2006 at 11:30 pm
Sorry about the typing errors.
August 24th, 2006 at 6:45 am
I guess it should come as no surprise that irony would be totally lost on him.
August 24th, 2006 at 1:24 pm
When Bush “reads a book” he looks at the front cover, looks at the back cover, browses the picture, and Karl counts that as one book read for Georgie.
August 24th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
We have a “Fart Cushion” President with a thinking process of:
“I THINK, ERGO I’M RIGHT” (god confirms!)
Voltaire, tear out your hair, we’re up le creek. that’s where!!!
August 24th, 2006 at 1:37 pm
You guys are so-o-o-o cynical. I happen to know he finished “My Pet Goat” in one sitting, because I watched it on videotape–and that was in the middle of a national emergency!
August 24th, 2006 at 10:58 pm
good one robert1 !!
It’s just one more thing they say that doesn’t ring true, doesn’t make sense and unless Bush gives us a book report on “the Stranger”, I don’t believe it.
August 25th, 2006 at 8:09 am
I actually believe Bush is reading all those books, sort of. My 9 year old son has read hundreds and hundreds of books (generally those written for teenagers) and could probably read The Stranger in a day or two, but of course he would not have a clue as to what it was about because he would not have the background knowledge to process it properly. It is the same with Bush. He could say each word to himself, skipping those he does not know, and then say he “read” it, but he would not have a clue as to its intended meaning, i.e. no reading comprehension. And since he would most likely be putting forth little or no effort to comprehend what he was reading, he could conceivably “read” at a faster and faster rate.
August 25th, 2006 at 9:34 pm
nothing surprises me about him anymore, he’s a dunce and an idiot, certainly not presidential. If he was a democrat, the msm would be going after him for every stupid comment, illegal war and all his crimes. Every american should be very ashamed of this so-called leader. I wish all decent americans would descend in the streets asking for his resignation. Two more years of this? My sympathy and good luck.
August 30th, 2006 at 10:04 am
I agree with Joyce,
I am a 64 yr old grandmother and I didn’t feel this hopeless when I was married to an abusive man who eventually tried to murder me. At least I knew what he was up to. George Bush is a sneaky, incompetent, miserable, lying SOB and that is on his good days. I don’t think I have ever felt such revulsion for another human being. If ever there was a time that a multi-pronged bolt of lightning needed this is it. It seems that our chances of being rid of these scumbags are about as likely as that bolt of lightning.
That is what causes such a pronounced sense of desperation and hopelessness. Heaven help us.