Could I love a Republican?
(a bit of silliness for a break)
I’m happily married to a rock-solid Democrat as well as being the father of two rock-solid Democratic sons (at ages 5 and 7 they don’t know it yet, but you can take my word for it).
So this is hypothetical. But still I wonder: Could I love a Republican — passionately and without reservation?
I should be clear that I’m talking here about romantic love; of course, we all still have to love dear old grandpa, regardless of whether he has the dial to his one (non-cable connected) television set fused permanently on Fox News. No, I’m talking about the loves we choose — well, at least in theory we choose them — not the ones handed to us by the fate of birth.
Interesting — it’s a tougher question than I would have expected.
I can lust a Republican, I know that. I’ve done it before from afar, although, truth be told, even the lust part loses a little of its original sin style luster when the object of my longing opens her mouth.
There’s just no lust killer quite like having a woman say, “I just absolutely adore George W. Bush.”
As my friend Winston once said, “Million dollar legs only go so far.”
If you asked the average man or woman on the street — probably even the average boy or girl — I suspect they would find this a silly question. “Of course you should be able to love someone from the other party,” most would no doubt answer. In fact, I suspect a fair percentage of them would be inclined to write off anyone who felt otherwise as an arrogant dick.
But is that open-mindedness talking, or apathy? If you don’t really care about politics, as is true with a very high percentage of the population, then obviously political incompatibility is no big deal.
But what about those of us who eat, drink and breathe this stuff? Could two such people, one from the political left and the other from the dark side of hell itself — not to show bias or anything — actually form a happy lifetime union? I’m sure it’s possible, but it sounds incredibly hard to me, especially given how nasty politics is today.
And, yeah, I know there is always the example of James Carville and Mary Matalin, but I think you have to toss them out as just too far outside of the box to count, kind of like throwing out the high and low judges’ scores in figure skating.
So, again, could I love a hard core Republican (and vice versa)?
I guess I don’t know for sure. But to be honest with you, I’m just as glad I don’t have to find out.
June 21st, 2006 at 12:42 pm
In all honesty, no, I really don’t think I could. Not any more. Ten years ago, maybe I could’ve looked past something like that. But not now. How could I in good conscience honestly love someone whose beliefs and views on people and the world around them I find to be deplorable and physically sickening?
My aunt got divorced a few years back; I remember her (somewhat) jokingly saying that there was another man who came between her and her husband and helped to break up the marriage. That man? Rush Limbaugh.
June 21st, 2006 at 1:26 pm
I could love a Republican who drinks bourbon.
I could only pity a Republican who drinks Kool-Aid.
June 21st, 2006 at 1:40 pm
Well said, unbasslichkeit. I guess it depends on what is meant by “republican.”
June 21st, 2006 at 11:43 pm
Never, because it’s about survivial now. I have been single a while, recently ran into an old friend. He asked me to dinner and when he came to pick me up, he commented on my antiwar bumper stickers. We had a glass of wine before we left and tried to avoid “war” talk. I was telling him about a trip I had taken to the Middle East and he said to me “MY BELIEFS MATTER MORE THAN YOUR FACTS AND i BELIEVE RUSH.” After my jaw dropped to the floor, I said “Don’t let the door hit ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 22nd, 2006 at 1:47 am
it’s not about the “other party” – it’s about the other way of life, it’s about faith vs. facts, responsibility vs. regression, brain vs. butt, bella vita for all vs. bellum vobiscum forever
sandiegowoman
it’s about philosophy – the deepest, innermost foundation of your life, the soil on which each and every decision you make grows
“Somebody save me, I don’t care how you do it” – and i never ever could respect (never mind love) wannabe-slaves, 40 year old adults crying for “daddy” to lead them, to think for them, preferring obedience to the risk of freedom, needing their alpha-apes to let them believe to be protected against that oh so evil world – and to let them feel good while playing the “wise” three monkeys or even doing harm themselves (the inferior the harsher)
no, it’s not about a party
June 22nd, 2006 at 2:17 am
As iowametal said, depends on what is meant by “Republican.” I could see loving someone who voted for Bush the first time around, then saw the light and now opposes him. Many Republicans don’t want Bush in the Oval Office and would like their party to reject the extremists he represents.
But I could never love someone as closed-minded as the person sandiegowman encountered, regardless of that person’s politics.
June 22nd, 2006 at 7:09 am
My sister, who has been liberal her entire life, is about to marry a neocon jerk who has told me that he is “sure” that if we had not gone into Iraq when we did, that Saddam would have started a nuclear war with Israel by now. He also insists that both Blix’ and Kay’s reports stated that Saddam had WMDs, and that “reason isn’t important…only belief is important”. Sadly, over the past year, her rhetoric has become increasingly in line with her fiance’s.
Love is not just blind, it is deaf and dumb (ie stupid).
June 22nd, 2006 at 7:46 am
Exactly – I know a good number of “Republicans” who are disgusted with what has happened and with the way their party has been hijacked by the radical christian neocons. These would be bourbon-drinking Republicans, not the Kool-Ade drinkers.
June 22nd, 2006 at 10:29 am
Nope. Sorry. Am tolerant, but not that tolerant. I believe in giving people help when they need it. Republicans, apparently, believe only in the YOYO theory–you’re on your own. I just could not love someone who is so completely selfish as Republicans are today. How mixed couples do it, I don not know–they must be together for profit, as James Carville & Mary Matalin are–I don’t know how they can compromise on their convictions–or maybe they don’t have any. Maybe it’s all just the bottom line to these people. But no, my partner has to have the liberal viewpoint or it ain’t happenin’.
June 22nd, 2006 at 11:02 am
I am a hardcore liberal trapped in Georgia, and I could never love a republican. So needless to say I haven’t had any lovin’ in quite some time. When I meet someone, that’s the first question I ask, and the answer down here is always “I’m a republican.” A definite instant deal breaker.
June 22nd, 2006 at 11:39 am
Nope. I have already ended a relationship for precisely this reason; and it broke my heart to do so. But there is no excuse for the level of willful ignorance it takes to be a Republican these days. It is no longer a matter of philosphical disagreement. It is a divide between reason and psychosis.
June 22nd, 2006 at 11:44 am
Frankly, even looking back at past relationships, I notice that the less liberal they are now, the less fondly I look upon them. “What was I thinking?” Living in a rural area in a red state…. I could only have moved here with the love of my life, someone as lefty as I am, and antiwar, and vegetarian. In my life it is not enough to be liberal, but an activist, too.
love the cafe, btw
June 22nd, 2006 at 12:13 pm
Not in today’s political climate. A hard core republican would be far too self serving to suit me. Their way of thinking is too extreme on issues that don’t even belong in the political arena.I get far too many mails that are hateful towards the people who really care. Their smear tactics are shameful. I say down with the repubs. and up with the dems.
June 22nd, 2006 at 12:31 pm
No. I think being a Republican is either a character flaw or a mental disorder, depending upon the severity.
June 22nd, 2006 at 1:18 pm
I live in a very red state and my family is republican as are many of my friends. The thing is, I do love them, of course I’m not
married to them so that makes it easier. I have a friend who is a man, a gun-totin’, bourbon drinkin’, deer-hunting NRA republican. He also went with me when I had a biopsy (nothing to worryabout), he kept me sane when I lost
my mom, I kept him sane when he lost his best friend, his wife is my best friend, I can’t say I couldn’t love a republican because love is just too complicated. If it were a question of sharing your life and your bed with a rush limbaugh listening loud mouth, then no….way.
June 22nd, 2006 at 2:15 pm
If I could succeed at it, I could for one night–but, I think it would be very hard to succeed. Of course one night love is not the real thing, so I quess the answer is no. I have a friend who is a republican, but he often times can’t figure out why he is one–what sense is that?
June 22nd, 2006 at 2:53 pm
[...] Find out at the Last Chance Democracy Cafe. [...]
June 22nd, 2006 at 5:41 pm
With few exceptions, the values of conservatism and the values of quality relationships are incompatible. That is why being a conservative basically disqualifies a person from being able to genuinely love or be loved. By marrying such a person you are virtually guaranteeing misery.
Conservatism is an ideology that believes people are inherently bad, that dogmatic traditions trump enlightenment or reality, that women are inferiors to men, that children are chattel to be lived through vicariously, that logic + reason shall be discarded for unproven absolutes, and that Stepford roles trump spontaneity or genuineness.
As such the ability to love, grow spiritually, communicate, or respect dissipates. Better a month with most liberal people than a lifetime with a conservative person.
June 22nd, 2006 at 6:13 pm
I can’t imagine finding romantic love with a republican. I suppose it could have been possible many, many years ago. However, now the party consists of neocons and fascists. What that represents to me is unbridled greed and thirst for power. Those people need total and unquestioning control over everyone and everything. Why on earth would anyone want to be in a relationship of any sort like that? Of course, I know that not every single republican is like that. But why try to have a relationship with a person who doesn’t pay attention to the evil that is perpetrated by their own party? No thank, I’ll take a pass.
June 22nd, 2006 at 6:50 pm
I could absolutely NOT be married to a Republican. I have often wondered how Mary Matalin and James Carville could get along, or Maria and Arnold. My husband and I have been married for 37 years and our politics is one of the most important things we have in common. Everything I believe about our world, our country, our family, our friends, our fellow human beings, our history and what is going on in our everyday lives has to do with politics. I also could not be married to a stupid, uneducated person or a person who is uncaring about those less fortunate than we are. That is very close to how I feel the “so-called” conservatives and other Republicans describe themselves. They must not think they come across this way but they very definitely come across just that way!! Laura, Sean, Rush, Asshole Bill, whatever the wannabe’s names are, I forget, but they are despicable, hateful, mean-spirited, crazy-minded, just plain evil in their thoughts and speech and ignorant – I could go on and on – I only listen to them because “we have to know what the enemy is saying”.
June 22nd, 2006 at 11:08 pm
What is a Republican? Current versions are not like the old ones. They seemed to have evolved into facist corporate state party that is sooooo unAmerican. There are still a few of the old school out there, but I was at odds with them since Nixon. The current models have come to represent nearly everything that I am against. Only in the ideals of Christianity could I say that I could love them, as I would an enemy. As far as romantic love, no chance. I tolerate some of my coworkers who have some Republican tendencies. But I don’t have anyone that I can call a friend who is of the modern version of Republican.
June 23rd, 2006 at 1:56 am
btw: thanks for the The Hitler vs. Coulter Quiz
June 23rd, 2006 at 2:25 am
I have one very good friend – a best friend, in fact – who has been a diehard Republican. Until 2001, that is. While still registered Republican, he no longer has faith in the GOP.
And why is that? Because he lives overseas. Where he gets different, unhindered, unbiased, uninfluenced media. And where he’s learned enough to realize that Bush is a lying idiot operating under the direction of a handful of jackasses.
Do I love this friend? You betcha. And a whole lot more today than six years ago.
Sadly, I realize the world would be a better place if we hadn’t had this opportunity to be better friends.
June 23rd, 2006 at 7:19 am
I took that Hiltler vs Coulter quiz and missed one.
I missed the one with the word scum in it. I gave that one to Coultler, but apparently Andolf beat her to the punch.
June 23rd, 2006 at 10:15 am
Under no circumstances could I love a repug. I don’t think I ever could. Ever since Reagan rape of America I realized that these people have an agenda that is unfolding right now that has nothing to do with the Constitution or anything else our Founding Fathers envisioned. They no sooner follow the gospel of Jesus Christ than Hussein did. I would rather listen to the death rattle of my only child than acknowledge that Bush is the legitmately elected president of this great country. Hell, I have to go to church just to spiritually achieve simple hate for the man and his kool-aid drinking followers. No way could I love anyone who even remotely agrees with anything these Christofascists have done.
June 23rd, 2006 at 1:28 pm
Unfortunately, I can’t even get along with my mother because of this difference. She is a true blue Rush believer. And if this difference can come between my mother and I, I don’t think I can even consider a Repug as a partner for life. It would be a recipe for disaster. My goodness, come to think of it, I can’t even think of a friend who holds on that stupid, greedy, bigoted, mean, hypocritical, short-sighted, gullible and self-righteous ideology.
June 23rd, 2006 at 5:31 pm
I talked about not being married to a Republicanin an earlier post but, about loving a Republican, sometimes we have to try. I have a mother-in-law and a son-in-law who are supposedly Republicans and I often have to bite my tongue. I would have to say I can love them but I would have so much more respect for them and accept and enjoy their comments about everything and anything else in the world if they were Democrats. I just think that Republicans, for the most part, are SO STUPID and very narrow-minded about our world!!
June 23rd, 2006 at 8:36 pm
As a very tolerant person there was a time when I might have said “yes”, but now I can’t even talk to a republican. My father was a republican and was very active in politics most of his life. He was a good, decent man and quite open minded. After Watergate, he became completely disilussioned with politics and the republican party.
Today most repugs are ill-informed, intolerant, and close-minded. They keep repeating the same old garbage with a total disregard for facts or logic. It is like they are programmed robots.
As for love or passion, take a look at the republicans in Washington. Who could fall for any of this crowd: Karl Rove, Ken Mehlman, Bill Frist, Kate OBeirne, Tom DeLay, Newt Gingrich, James Sensenbrenner, Rick Santorrum………..not a very appealing bunch on any level whether it is physicial or intellectual. Maybe it is some genetic flaw and they are compensating with political muscle!
Anyway, this is not Eisenhower’s republican party. It is starting to look like the party of “freaks and geeks” who couldn’t get a date in high school and had to pursue power and money to make up for their shortcomings.
June 23rd, 2006 at 11:10 pm
just as jesus could love a leper……well no….sorry…to be honest i just couldn’t do it.
mcc> aka clownsitters
June 24th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
[...] The Last Chance Democracy Cafe asks himself the following question: [...]
June 25th, 2006 at 11:36 am
Love a republican? romantic love- no way!!!!!
Love as love any human being-yes, after all they are just ignorant, repressive, inhuman, controlling, way too ” religious= repressed uptight sexless haters of all fun and real life. Just poor ignorant subhumans pretending to be chosen, perfect, righteous and saved!!!! Ignorants about science, the world and even their own religion a sorry subspieces of the human race that let themselves be brain washed by those who have the power and money and tell them what to think.
If they are in the family then I love them as family and I will discuss with them and try to listen to them- man thats hard!!!- and at the end is…..whatever!!!!! because those republicans don’t have a case and always end up with ridiculous statements and even insults and ususally blaming Bill Clinton…..nothing new as you all know….they don’t have anything intelligent to say!!!!
June 25th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
I once loved 2 Republicans, but both of them are dead.
My mother and father were REAL Republicans who believed in REAL CONSERVATISM .
If there is a Republican who I could love today , I haven’t met one yet.
June 25th, 2006 at 2:40 pm
Love a Republican? Never!!
First of all Matalin and Carville are two sides of the same coin> The DLC needs people like Carville who can sound passionate while selling out the party.
Anyone who voted for Nixon, Ford, Reagan, or either of the Bushes, even once, is responsible for where we are today as a nation.
This coup was begun in Dallas in 1963 and Texans have been benefitting ever since. The Bush family has been raking in money from war since Civil War times and it isn’t about to stop now. As a matter of fact, the greedy bastards are just going to get worse.
Think we’ve seen the last of the Bush clan? Don’t count on it. Until everyone in America wakes up and stands up, elections will be stolen, people will be disenfranchised, and the mainstream media will continue to look the other way until its reporters are reporting on the people who are joining them in the camps that are being constructed throughout the country.
Don’t think it can happen?? It can, it is, and it will. The only question is whatchya gonna do when they come for you?
June 25th, 2006 at 4:03 pm
If by Republican you mean an Earth-raping, christian extremist, racist/sexist/homophobic, lying, anti-science/pro-faith, pro-censorship, regressive ape, then Hell no I couldn’t love a Republican.
Whatever that party once was, it is now the party from Hell, bent on owning the world at the expense OF the world. Anyone who is still a Republican is either a money-grubbing warmonger or an ignorant throwback. Either way, they’re not worth consideration and should be barred from the gene pool.
June 25th, 2006 at 5:42 pm
No love for any republican. I used to love everyone unconditionally. Now I understand that this simply empowers them. Now I want them all dead. I pray for them all to get just exactly what they deserve. And for all of their lies, deceptions, incompetence, murders, tortures, and other criminal activities, they certainly deserve to die. It can’t come soon enough to suit me.
June 25th, 2006 at 6:28 pm
The simple answer is, certainly not. The reason is somewhat more complex. You see, as much as the Republicans claim they are for fiscal discipline, “family values” and a strong defense, what they are actually good at is hypocracy. Republicans today and those who follow, are sheeple herded into simplistic solutions to complex and nuanced issues. They care nothing of the destruction of our planet and it’s resources, deny scientific fact, and exploit (or overtly attack) the weakest people among us. They are bullies. They are bigots. They project their sociopathy on those that disagree with their policies. They make a mockery of the very Christian ideals they espouse. I not only couldn’t love one, I don’t want my children around them.
June 25th, 2006 at 7:52 pm
Funny you should ask this question because I was having a lot of trouble dealing with my sister sho reads books by Ann Coulter, listens to Rush Limbaugh and think Abu Greg was nothing worth mentioning. Its is so frustrating to me that she will absolutely will not even listen to a different point of view. These are ignorant people who live in a world of fear and are easily preyed upon by the Bushavicks. She is even afraid to get on a plane.
I love her but its getting harder and harder to condone the lies and hate this ignorant band of fascists is promoting. Of course she laments the death of family values!!!
Its a real strain on me to see my only sister think this way.
Someone help me!!!!!!!!!
June 25th, 2006 at 8:45 pm
As a single woman I have dated repubs,they are cheap(no matter how wealthy they are)they are very mean hearted(shoot cats for sport)and sexually very hung-up and weird.So the answere is NO. No never again will I date a republican,I have never loved one.oh one more thing,the last one I dated a few times said that I better get those stickers off my car.
June 25th, 2006 at 9:07 pm
How could I not love a Republican….Let me count the ways
Do I love greed? Do I love ignorance? Selfishness?
That the depth and breadth and height of the above define the neoconservative…
My soul shudders with their feelings of compassion no where in site
For the ends of being and ideal grace are shriveled in the shadow of consumption of the Republican party (oh, bloated ticks stretched taut and beet red off the blood of billions)
To love freely in the chains of paranoia of Republican Big Brother…oh, it can not be done
To love purely in the filth of pollution that reeks our air and skies and very sun that the Republicans would smote out if they could…and charge the masses a fee for light
Only for my passion put to use to stop thee corrosive heart…and my thee to what they would label ‘lesser’ men who one thousand of them could not equate
In my old griefs and with childhood faith’s, my love has increased for those you suppress and kindred spirits have united…the only benefit to ignite from this tragedy, our unity to defeat thee
With lost Saints that can not be replinished under the devil god that you wield against us
But my smiles, my tears, my life…..say my death
To stop thee
With profuse apologies Elizabeth Barrett Browning!
June 26th, 2006 at 1:33 am
Not only couldn’t I love a republican, I can’t do business with one, either. As soon as I find out they think Rush is cool or Bush is an OK fool, I take my business elswhere. I am not dealing with someone as dumb and mean as a republican…..especially when it comes to handling my money. How could you believe a word that comes out of their mouth? …let alone kiss that mouth! Yuck!
June 26th, 2006 at 8:11 am
Maybe. I can only get along with liberals; but a liberal could believe that America is a naturally conservative country, that the Republicans are therefore America’s natural governing party, and that therefore the best approach is to promote liberal ideas within the Republican Party. I don’t agree, but again, I only said maybe.
June 26th, 2006 at 11:59 am
Politics is a reflection of one’s personal values.
RW conservatism is a philosophy which shuns facts + common sense for dogmatic falsehoods, disdains cultural diversity, stifles free speech, creates unloving Mars v. Venus roles for men and women, views children as chattel to be lived through vicariously, loathes egalitarian decision making, and acceptance is predicated not on who you are but who you are perceived to be.
If the philosophy itself is inconducive to loving family values, so too will its practitioners be.
June 26th, 2006 at 12:08 pm
It’s all spew from the two-headed monster, folks.
The demopublicans and the republicrats.
Love is NOT the issue.
Class war is the issue.
June 26th, 2006 at 12:36 pm
NOT ANYMORE!!! I am a Buddhist and must show patience and tolerance. But, all I hear coming from Republicans is hate and bigotry…even from those who don’t even know they are preaching hate and bigotry. I am not a Democrat by the way…I am an American Citizen. Why anyone would want to stand with a party refuse to even give some Americans more than $5.15 an hour to live on does not care about there fellow citizens only there corporate donors. Shameful of any human being no matter your political affiliation to WANT to keep other human beings in poverty. Most sincerely, Peakoiler.
June 26th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
It would not be possible for me to love a member of todays GOP. They seem to be all about hate of anyone who does not agree with them. So how could you love someone who is not able to love you back.
June 26th, 2006 at 5:48 pm
Both of my parents and 2 of my sisters are repugnicans.I do love them because they are family but if they werent family I would NEVER even talk to them.(Well maybe to tell them how ignorant they are).But I could NEVER love a repugnican in a romantic way and come to think of it never have.
June 26th, 2006 at 9:29 pm
I could NOT love a Republican. No way. No how. You gotta be able to STAND a person before you can love him. That right there would end it for me.
June 27th, 2006 at 8:17 am
Yeah I could love a republican. I imagine most democrats could. The problem is a republican couldn’t love a democrat. Republicans have no tolerence or compassion for anybody with an opinion different than their own. Some republicans can be quite nice if you go to the same church as them and are in the same income brackett.
June 27th, 2006 at 10:38 am
If this question was asked before 2000, I may have said yes. However, having taken the red pill since, there is no way in hell I could ever support anyone who works against my interests – Democracy and Truth!
June 27th, 2006 at 10:49 am
I went out with a very nice man for six months who claimed to be a thinking Republican. After a few months, little comments were dropped that:
a. he was racially prejudiced (”they’re just not like us”)
b. he thought dems were “tax and spend” (what about the billions Bush is spending on the war in Iraq, Einstein?)
c. he got his news from the newspaper and tv (”you can’t trust all that junk on the internet”)
Love a Repug?
Read my lips… NEVER again!
June 27th, 2006 at 1:26 pm
When I see a spider I know is not poisonous I’ll generally pick it up on a magazine and escort it to a safer place. When I see one which might be dangerous, I apologize for having to do it but then squash it mercilessly. I don’t apologize to roaches before smashing them with my shoe as I know that they breed prolifically and spread disease and thus are more dangerous than any venomous spider could ever be. Moreover, I’m offended by the roach’s very smugness in thinking he’s quicker or smarter than I. I wouldn’t say I “love” any of these creatures but I do at least feel some compassion for the first two.
June 28th, 2006 at 7:59 am
As a divorced mother of two young boys, I am often asked out on dates. While I am careful who I do go out on dates with, if I am at all interested in the person, I will at some point during the first or second date come right out and ask if they are interested in politics and if so, which way do they vote. If I hear the R word, I run for the door. No last phone call, nothing!
June 28th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
I could not LIKE a republican! Their brains are different then ours.
I always wondered about the civil war and how brother could fight brother, and now I know. It’s not brother against brother..it’s species against species.
Don
June 28th, 2006 at 3:32 pm
I tried to love a republican, but it wasn’t to be. He pushed his politics on me, he pushed his religion on me, so I pushed him out the door.
For a few weeks I felt terrible. I always believed I was a tolerant person, but I could barely stand to speak with him by the end of it. Actually, I would have to say that 50% of the reason I dropped him was because of his social conservative beliefs, 45% was how he was constantly evagilizing. That last 5% was for making me spend an evening listening to him tell everyone else how to live a “moral, upstanding life”. That was the end.
To try and get me back, he lied to me and said he voted for Kerry.